Into the Airwaves

What have I to say of the college campus, museum walls and historic hotel? A touch may cause a tremble but a grasp gives way to one long, deep breath. And it all seems to say, "Welcome." I don't have to say good-bye, I never do anyways simply because my life goes in chapters. One ends and another begins. Sometimes the transition is difficult and the essence falters. The message adjusts and the themes re-allign. Oh how I tumbled, but I'm picking myself up now. And, damnit, elegance will have to be defined again when I am done.

Green trees were the first sign - the deepest blue, the clearest sky. The silence came with brightest eyes, like turning water into wine. The children ran to see, their parents stood in disbelief. And those who knew braced for the ride. The Earth itself then came alive.

These wings quiver, like those of the ugly duckling just after it becomes the swan, and soon enough I'll take flight. But with all this I have realized that it is not about where I am going but where I am. And for now, I like it here.
Perhaps it is only the light. Perhaps it is power of the realms at work through me. Or perhaps it is some combination of spirit and desire, love and hope, some alchemy that we each possess and can put to use, if we first know where to look without flinching. - Rebel Angels

I wanna have the same last dream again -the one where I wake up and I'm alive. Just as the four walls close me within. My eyes are open up with pure sunlight. I'm the first to know.My dearest friends, even if your hope has burned with time anything that is dead shall be re-grown. And your vicious pain, your warning sign - You will be fine. Hey oh here I am. And here we go. Life’s waiting to begin. Any type of love it will be shown, like every single tree reach for the sky. If you're gonna fall I'll let you know that I will pick you up, like you for I.

"In some ways it's like last year never happened. I feel like I just stepped out of the twilight zone or some weird movie where they freeze your body and revive you in some other era in history."

I had a dream, the night after seeing Macbeth in Central Park. And in it I told him everything. Its like all the weight of the past two years was finally lifted from my chest, like I knew I had to finally let go of things and start fresh. We were walking, arms wrapped around each other, along a row of trees. White sky shone between, from the very early morning, and he brushed my hair from my face ever so gently and kissed my forehead. That was all I needed - as though saying this green and lovely new day will bring me to something beautiful.

I’ve got a gift and it blew me a way - from the far eastern sea straight to here. Oh God I feel like I’m in for it now. Its like the rush has gone straight to my brain. But my voice is as lonely as loud, as I whisper a joy of this thing. And suddenly you’ve done it all. You won me over in no time at all. 

I am happy again. Its happening again. The music is pumping colors into my veins like paint. This moment is all I have, this is all I am.

I swim across an ocean, it's my matress in the basement. I'm sweatin' out excuses that would make your stomach turn.
After a Friday on fire I can feel the summer like hot breath on the back of my neck. While my words are cold I'm warmed with the thought of finally being released into a season I can finally call my own.Let's not get serious about all this.

Oh California in the Summer. Ah and my hair is growing long. Fuck yeah we can live like this. But if you left it up to me everyday would be a holiday from real. We'd waste our weeks beneath the sun. We'd fry our brains and say it's so much fun out here.

I've got a new place to make my mark, and this time it won't be a pathetic four years spent like a girl too bruised to to laugh in their faces. Well eleven tracks, four seasons, two dark blue skies, and one show later this Arizona child can finally set her eyes on California before she goes up north.

Waiting for a bus to take me home

There comes a time when someone has to realize that when it comes to livng one must be true. So this is close to goodbye and here is my label, my heart, my future. Here is my truth.

“I think that’s probably what will make life beautiful for anybody; finding it within themselves to be at peace enough to acknowledge the good things; and maybe you can’t always change the bad things but I think if you direct some positive energy towards them, a lot of times you can have, at least, a better effect on it and make it seem a little bit better.”

The Lights and Buzz

I should begin this entry with "So" or "Well" but I don't have the heart too. I am so tired of everything. I am supposedly an air sign but the water in me cannot be denied; I like change. I like the flow of life and if my way is ever blocked I'll find a way around it. I will find a way out. Is this the calm before the storm or the peace that comes after?
Laying upon silk pillows, makeshift shawl of pinned afghan, I glare at the ceiling. And the appeal of the stage, of a mask and the masquerade returns. I'd rather be honest. I'd rather be crystal clear. But this river will always have depths.

Every dream since then

I've been in the rain

A breath of fresh air

This morning was one

of those perfect

grey mornings.

Well I got the rain I've been waiting for. A cold rain that falls like ice, gliding over my skin that scolds with the placid heat of fever and stale illness. Its a mess out there -you said the rain's the rain, some air'd be good for you. Well good for you. You can breath. Steam probably rises in curls and my mascara might be running but my cheeks are red-skin pale as a silent screen starlette. Cold hands Lips blue Clothes stuck to you. Before I get into the car its a sigh I leave outside, to mist away between the slim raindrops that scatter the atmosphere of exhaust and praire dust. You get in my car where its warm, you cannot forget. Skin new, hands true -My hands all over you. Its been magic and passion; fate mixed with daydreams and blue into destiny and I can't seem to conceive just yet. Things maye have slowed down but my thoughts are just beginning to race. They're at the starting line ready for the first sprint. You can breath now, you can breath now but the air is running out of you. Then endurance will kick in and I'll soar for miles with only this heart and breath as company. Its everything I needed cause he's always with me. This record was the closest thing to my heart and I quickly realized why.

Because when I hear this album it is a testament to the people and things around me that make my life so sweet. It's amazing to watch how this world is constantly moving in circles. Giving and taking and giving back again. That’s what everything in transit is about. The constant motion of this world. In a lot of ways these past few months have reminded me of that motion.

All I can say

is I am so lucky

to be here,

feeling as good as I do and talking to you all about these important milestones that are so rapidly approaching. It's going to be a good month. I can feel it.

Its eerie how our life are parallel but maybe that is just it -we're both on these amazing journeys and we know it. It is a chronicle we're in tune with, ear pressed to the floor and pulse jumping. Sensitivity is hightened and honesty is the goal. To be real and live every second to its fullest. That's the beauty of this connection - we are lovers and fighters that smile no matter what color the sky is.
Since I set out on this crazy journey of creating Everything In Transit my life has been on somewhat of a crash course with destiny. With each new day it becomes more apparent to me that everything and everyone in this world is connected in some beautiful and inexplicable way, and the more I accept that, the more my world seems to come together.
Maybe we were made for each other
Maybe the world could look like this forever
In 26 hours I will be only a few feet and a stage shall seperate me from the energy that has sustained me for months, even years now. All the people that mean the most to me in one place united by the power of music with nothing but POSITIVE essence. Even twirling and spinning couldn't keep me
It appears you spun as well

 
I like change, even subtle ones like sleeping in a different bed, new shoes, clean hair or waking up early on Sunday. Today went by too fast. I still have to pack then welcome her with open arms and fresh sheets on the air mattress. Maybe tonight we'll stay awake and talk like we used to; nothing to tug at our eyelids but the excitement of tomorrow and being together on such luck. There's a hidden meaning behind all this. He's probably driving through, if I stand out on the bridge I might be able to see the bus speed past my neighbor hood and the dirt road that almost took my life.  She said, “And I wont wait for you forever, while you run around like JFK.We watched that poor girl waste the best years of her life.And I’ll be damned if I am going out, I will not go out that way.”And And yes - I shall be forever changed. These past eight months have been leading up to this.

Alright that should do it for me. Into the rain without an umbrella.

Thanks for rocking

with me.

You know I like to rock

with you